a fresh start and a new year

Welcome to Procraftinate 2.0.

I started this blog quite a while ago as a challenge to myself: to finish a project every week and post the results online as a way to add accountability to my crafty productivity. I was a highly motivated, task-oriented, self-proclaimed "failed perfectionist" who was looking for ways to complete even more. I started this wee little blog during an exciting time in my life--the internet was just starting to explode with blogs, particularly inspirational sites by amazingly accomplished women. I had left an excellent job in a technical field to become a stay-at-home mom and was full of creative energy I needed to express, somehow. And so, I started procraftinate.blogspot.com on August 7, 2007.

The blog title was, what I hoped at the time, a funny way of asking myself why I would choose to do non-productive things instead of things I truly enjoyed, like making stuff, creating art, writing, etc. I struggled with my self-imposed weekly deadline, but I did sometimes reach it with a great sense of victory. More often than not, however, I didn't meet my goals. I dutifully recorded more and more "craft fails," several leaves of absence, and then I finally realized I was living with chronic fatigue syndrome, and I stopped posting altogether. I was reading through my old posts last week and it made me so sad. It was the diary of a girl who was trying so hard to make her body do things it couldn't do anymore. I kept on bravely persevering and being unrelentingly cheerful instead of asking myself, "why isn't this working?"

Much has changed in my life since I started this blog four years ago. I have another beautiful daughter. I lean on my church family and friends more. I know more about how to manage my illness, and I'm learning to treat myself (and especially my body) with kindness and grace. I'm learning how to consider it joy in all trials, instead of just putting on a brave face and pretending like I can do it all. I've wrestled with God's sovereignty and His goodness, and I think I might limp through this Christian walk for the rest of my earthly life.

And since my life has changed so much, this little blog will change too. I've missed it and thought about it often, but I'm removing the old content: a record of what I have or haven't done isn't useful to me or anyone else. Instead, I'll be posting about what I'm thinking about, what makes me happy, or what I find to be useful or make life easier, in hopes that it will be beneficial to you, too.

I hope you enjoy.